New Blog

I switched to Wordpress. 

http://pursuingintegration.wordpress.com/

Integration

Life is too complex to prescribe to entirely one epoch of history. 

Modernity is not all correct.

Postmodernity is not all correct.

The fault lies in missing the truth in either one. 

Industrialism is not all correct.

Agrarianism is not all correct.

The failure lies in missing the important points both make, because you have entirely both into one system or another.

Capitalism is not perfect.

Neither is Communism.

The mistake is thinking that one of them can save the economy. 

In every philosophy and paradigm in history there probably lies some truth. God has planted the desire for truth in every human, and the world shows his truth. Even in the most horrible lies, there may lie truth either in the lie or in the refutation of the lie. 

My proposition is integration. Integrate the true things you find in books, music, movies and anything else into your life.  But always compare them with the truth found in the Bible and in Jesus. Don't buy in to the fact that this doesn't conform with the traditional views of things, but look for the truth. Look for the truth in postmodernism even if as a whole you don't embrace it. Find the truth in the agrarian rejection of technology, and add it to your life. Take every kernel of truth from capitalism, but beware of the effects it has on us and our way of life. 

Search for the truth, but don't stop there. When you find it, add it into your life. Don't worry if it's from a source you didn't expect and doesn't typically fit into your views. If it's true, think on it and add it into the way you live. 

In the coming weeks I hope to show some of the things I've learned recently and am trying to integrate into my life. 

6 Minutes

I have six minutes to write something here. 

I'm sitting in the Student Union, listening to Maná and drinking some peach iced tea. This is the present, full of the certainty of knowing that until my iced tea is gone I can drink more of it. Until I have class I can continue to listen to these classy Latin jams. 

Now there is four minutes remaining.

The future however is not so certain. What will happen in four minutes? Will I arrive to class and find it cancelled? Will I be able to speak Spanish confidently in class? Will I be alive at the end of this day? 

I know this is a common theme in my writing. I am uncertain often. And lately this uncertainity has been even more common than before. The only thing I am absolutely certain about is that there is God who loves me and is looking out for me. I take solace in that.

Two minutes. 

This moment doesn't seem like anything consequential. Maybe it isn't, or maybe this is something that will change my life forever. What if I lived my life like every moment counted that much? What if I lived sent by Jesus to impact as many people as possible? 

That would be something worth writing about.

Time's up. 

The Woods

Today I walked into the small woods in my backyard for the first time in a while. It used to seem so much bigger when I was younger, but I guess that’s true of everything. I remember spending days in those woods with my friend Nate. We would pretend we were soldiers, explorers, bounty hunters. You name it and we probably pretended we were it.

 I remember just walking in those woods was an adventure. There was always something new to discover. In the summer that meant fighting through the thorns and plant life, while the winter held cold, snow and ice. Clearings were made into staging areas, the stream into a vast expanse to be crossed and the hills into mountains to be scaled.

 Today, it was none of those. I went in there to take some pictures and video of the stream sparkling in the noonday sun. But the sense of wonder was gone, replaced with only nostalgia. If this is what growing up means, I have to say I miss being a kid sometimes.

But maybe it wasn’t the forest that shrunk, but my perception of it. It wasn’t mysterious or frightening anymore. It was no longer a struggle to find my way around. Does that change what it is? No.

 It seems like the older you get, the easier it is to lose the sense that things are still bigger than your life. People come and go, issues continue to haunt you and everyone on every side is telling you what it means to be successful. And there I stand, just as confused as I was a kid, but pretending that all is fine so much better. Somewhere along this way, I’ve made God small.

 He no longer is big and mysterious, because I’ve been down the same road so many times. I’ve thanked Him for His grace over and over, but I think I stopped truly appreciating a long time ago. I’ve written so many blogs about my failings and sat back thinking that that act alone would somehow atone for them. I’ve prayed He would take my life and relationships and serve Him with them, but created a little box in which certain things happen that I know will serve God.

 I would love to tell you all that after I left the woods I had some miraculous revelation and they regained their mystique, but that would be a lie. I don’t think they will ever have the same significance in my life again. I also can’t tell you that God dropped down from heaven and showed me how big and amazing He truly is, because that would also be false. But He may have freed my mind from the trap it has been in, and that’s the first step.

 

Pulp Fiction

Is it possible to find God in a postmodern morass of profanity and violence? Is it possible to find God when no one else is looking for Him? Can God show up in the strangest of places?

I think the answer to all three of those questions is yes, and I've seen God in Pulp Fiction, directed by Quentin Tarentino, which is filled with coarse language and violence. 

We begin the movie by meeting Vincent (John Travolta) and Jules (Samuel L. Jackson), two gangsters that work for the mysterious Marcellus Wallace (Ving Rhames). They are going into a building to retrieve a precious case that was stolen from Marcellus by some petty criminals. They go through the motions and right before they leave with the case Jules begins reciting Ezekiel 25:17 (actually a large paraphrase with much added) before killing the man responsible for the theft. In the very beginnings of the movie there is already a reference to God. Is this reference serious or is it simply a interesting thing for Jules to says before he executes a wrongdoer? That is still up for debate as the movie hurtles along to a different story. 

The first story of the movie focuses on Vincent and an evening with Marcellus' wife Mia (Uma Thurman). Riddled with drugs this story offers up the least redeeming qualities of the movie, but gives a glimpse into the purposeless lives that Mia and Vincent lead. They live from high to high, and Mia even goes into the bathroom while they are eating dinner at the restaurant to get high after an awkward pause in the dinner conversation. When they return to her house, Vincent goes to the bathroom and Mia overdoses on cocaine, which leads Vincent to charge through the city back to the man who sold him the stuff to help her come back to life. As they part after Mia has returned to semi-normal you can tell there is a real sense of gratitude in the way she talks to Vincent, but nothing has changed. They are both still stuck in the mess of postmodernity looking for something higher than themselves. 

The second part of the film finds Butch (Bruce Willis) running away from Marcellus after he does not throw a boxing match that Marcellus paid him to throw. We follow Butch through a series of interesting situations before we arrive at the oddest one yet, where both him and Marcellus are at the mercy of two hicks that are planning to kill them, among other things. They pick Marcellus first, Butch gets free and is about to leave Marcellus to escape before he has a change of heart and rescues the man who wants him dead. Marcellus is greatly and lets Butch leave. As Butch exits the store where they were captive he sees a motorcycle that quite plainly has the word "grace" stenciled on its gas tank. It gives meaning to what we just witnessed. Marcellus gave Butch grace for what he did, just as in the same way Butch came back to rescue him showing him grace. Butch drives away on the motorcycle free from his death sentence, showing how grace really can help us leave our sins behind.

The film draws to a close by revisiting the very first sequence and shows Vincent and Jules being saved from death by what Jules calls a "divine intervention." This divine intervention causes Jules to really think about his job and he decides to mend his ways. He tells Vincent that he is done with this work and he plans on leaving. Later in the story Vincent and Jules sit down to eat breakfast and continue to converse about this until Vincent goes to the bathroom and two people begin to attempt to rob the restaurant. This continues until Jules pulls a gun on the guy and begins to talk to him, and in this moment we can see the change that his encounter with God has had on him. 

"There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that s*** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your a**. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherf***** before you popped a cap in his a**. But I saw some s*** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous a** in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that s*** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd."

Jules has changed. He has changed because he had an encounter with the living God. He has seen God work in his life to save it, not just be a figurehead for his killing sprees. Vincent dismissed the situation as mere coincidence, but Jules sees beyond an earthly perspective. He tells him in the car as they leave the apartment where they incident happened that his "eyes are f***ing wide open," and that he is going to retire. While Jules doesn't suddenly become the poster boy for the 700 Club he has experienced a change and in the rest of the movie we can tell he is different, and if that isn't God shining through I don't know what is.

Was this glimpse of God worth the time spent watching a movie filled with language, drugs and violence? I'm not sure, but it was there, and more importantly Pulp Fiction shows us that God can turn up in the worst of places. The whole world is God's and He will shine His light where he pleases and use some of the strangest ways to show people His grace and love. Pulp Fiction asks some deep questions and shows a lot of people looking to escape this world through any means necessary, but the only two who make it are Butch and Jules. One escapes on grace, and the other through a divine encounter with the Most High.  

Born Into Brothels

Sex is big industry.

But in countries other than America it is a lot messier. 

Tonight I watched Born Into Brothels, a documentary about a group of adorable children in India who through the power of a simple camera are able to show us the lives they live in the Red Light District of Calcutta. It's a unique film as photographer Zana Briski gives the children cameras and teaches them about photography. The children's photography is quite impressive, but what is more impressive is their deep thoughts and incredible resiliency captured by Briski and co-director Ross Kauffman.  

In these children's lives there is no hope, no future. The girls will grow up to become prostitutes, following in their mother's footsteps as this is the only way to survive in the district. This is sex industry at its messiest. The girls and boys all know what their mothers do, and yet they still have the remains of innocence about them. This is in stark contrast to the weathered faces of their parents, carved deep by years of pain and shame. 

Briski tries to help the children, but most of them end up staying in the Red Light District. Some of them are able to go to boarding schools and carve a new life for themselves, but unfortunately this is the exception to the deadly spiral of the prostitution. 

I couldn't tear my eyes away from these children. One minute they are smiling and laughing, the next they are revealing these deepest fears and secrets to the camera with surprising honesty. I know things like this happen in the world, but seeing it firsthand--through the eyes of a child-- is a different matter altogether. 

As I sat there mesmerized a thousand thoughts flew through my head. Sex in America is so clean cut and easy. If you want to see a women naked just go online or head to your local video store and within minutes you will be satisfied. None of the physical scars, but the emotional scars are the same. 

Seeing these women in the documentary quietly resign themselves to this fate, made me question a lot of women in America today. Why are there so many women that will just throw away their sexual dignity for money, without being forced, doing essentially the same thing as these women? It's so easy to show some skin, sex up the movies for a little extra money, but why do women in America and other parts of the world embrace this as a legitimate job?

Is this why women in America are free? So they can do the same thing as women who need to prostitute their bodies just to make it by? That doesn't make sense to me and I'm not sure it ever should.

The men are not free of this either. I'm not better than any of those men who solicit the girls. The American man thinks when he looks at porn or when he lusts that he isn't doing anything on the same level as raping a prostitute. But he is. Jesus labels lusting in the heart as adultery. "We are all guilty of the same things, with sinning hearts that make us equal," says popular rock band Emery.

Yet amidst these trials the kids are still loving life, almost inexplicably to us as Americans. It brought me almost to tears on a couple occasions. Where is their hope? How can they have hope? At one point one of the boys, Ajivit, speaks of having no hope. My heart breaks for these kids, but what can I do? 

This is my heart breaking just one more time at the injustice in this world and then in a few days returning to its callousness. In America, even if we want to help, we never do. I want to help. I prayed for those kids and all of the other like them tonight in Warriors. I sang for them, hoping they would find their hope in Jesus. Maybe that is what I can do to help, and I hope I don't forget.

Born Into Brothels is not an easy documentary to watch, but watch it we must. The glimmers of hope are dim, but they still manage to shine through. I watch these terrible, horrible things not because I revel in them or enjoy them but because my heart needs to know the human condition. But I can't put it as well as Ajivit who uttering the last line of dialogue says this of a picture he is presenting to other children, "Although there is a sense of sadness, we must look at it because it is truth."

Old Myspace Blogs #2: Fall

Fall, the season where change is proclaimed most evidently, as the once green leaves change into orange and brown and drop to the ground signaling the death of summer. Fall, when school starts and the care-free days of the summer fade away like the daylight. Fall, the very word brings pleasant memories of sitting inside by the fire, watching the night envelop the day. Why does fall invoke such feelings?

     In life, things fade away but still leave a trace of supernatural beauty. The leaves disappear from trees, and even though they are gone the trees suggest a skeletal beauty, a beauty that says even when life is stripped bare it retains a measure of dignity. Fall shows us that life is in motion. It doesn't take much imagination to jump from spring to summer, but the cataclysmic explosion of color in the fall is much harder to imagine. Never lose sight of the way life moves in and out of its seasons, far quicker and for much longer periods of time than in the natural world.

    As fall moves quickly towards winter, stop and reflect in the beauty presented in the way the trees move, and the way light shines through the colorful leaves. Take a minute, stand outside and take a deep breath of fall air. Notice the way its crispness assails the senses with something unexplainable. Life and nature show us that sometimes we can get caught up in everything happening and not see the beauty of Creation.

I thought this was appropriate. It's also serving as a way for me to practice my editing skills. 

 

Un Ejercicio en Español

En ocho días solamente, saldré para Chicago. Necesito esta vacación de tarea y exámenes. No puedo esperar ver a Andraya. Primero dos meses de escuela son mucho tiempo ir sin un descanso. Tuve unos días relajarme, pero no fueron bastante. 

Esperamente este descanso en Chicago seré el tiempo necesito. Sin embargo, tendré una examen el día después vuelvo de Chicago. La tarea nunca para. Esto es bueno, porque este año aprendía a manejar mi tiempo mayor que último año. 

Dios me está enseñando cómo tener responsibilidad y me está mostrando su camino para mi vida. Todavía tengo mis problemas, pero sé Dios me está ayudando vencerlos. Y sé podéis ver este blog es en español. Creo que Dios me mostró que debo perseguir español y lo persigo. 

En inglés:

In only 8 days, I leave for Chicago. I need a vacacion from homework and tests. I can't wait to see Andraya. The first two months of school are a lot of time to go without a rest. I had some days to relax, but they were not enough. 

Hopefully, this rest in Chicago will be the time I need. However, I will have a test el day after I return from Chicago. The homework never stops. This is good, because this year I have learned to manage my time better than last year. 

God is teaching me how to have responsibility and is showing me his path for my life. Yet, I have my problems, but I know God is helping me overcome them. And I know you all can see this blog is in Spanish. I believe that God showed me that I should pursue Spanish, and I am pursuing it.

I'm sure there are some grammatical errors in the above post. You can alert me to them if you wish. :)

dream

If it was just a dream

It was the best dream I've had in ages

Getting a Glimpse

"In the crowd I caught a glimpse of your eye. Everything freezes..."-Caught a Glimpse, Blindside

We live our lives with our eyes open, taking in colors and movement, and even when we are asleep our dreams hint at vision, often distorting it. We trust our eyesight, often mistakenly, for almost everything. If we can't see it in front of us, we don't think it exists. And then comes that moment that shatters everything, a glimpse of something. A shadow flickering on the edge of vision, beckoning for you to follow it if only out of curiosity. 

This moment is of utmost importance. In one instant a myriad of possibilities is laid out before you. Which way do you turn? Do you follow the glimpse or turn back to life before? Do you follow your eyes or your soul? 

I live from glimpse to glimpse. Sometimes I don't notice them, but when I do they sustain me. They excite me for life and what the future holds. God gives me these glimpses every once in a while. It used to annoy me that I couldn't see my path laid out in front of me. I like this state of flux now. It means that I don't have to know exactly what my life holds, I just have to trust in God. 

Every glimpse I get I hold onto like a treasure. Sometimes glimpses aren't from God, they might just be a reflection of something you enjoy and people around you. Sometimes they remind you of things God has already told you. But they are always there if you can see them. 

And that's the trick isn't it? Seeing those things in the corner of your eye, the things that don't immediately stand out in life. Seeing the flicker of an opportunity and choosing to take it, succeed or fail. This is the breath of life, taking the chance on something unsure. 

God rarely drops his plan right in front of our face. He puts it in the corner of our eye, and we may have to move from the path we are on or just make a minor correction to follow it. 

God gave me one of the glimpses the other day and is continuing to confirm it in my life. I can't tell you how much I value even a little insight and direction from the Lord. And I can't help but wonder how much I still miss, looking straight ahead at my problems instead of searching at the edge of my vision.

"...and I'm ready to give you my heart."

Old Myspace Blog: Flawed

These are some of my old myspace blogs, I'll be sharing some of my favorites over the next couple months, they deserve to resurface, even if it is only Adam that reads my blog.

Flawed. That's what all of us are, flawed children of God because of our sin. Only Jesus can complete us, and not in this world, only in the next. We need to stop hiding our flaws from ourselves and God. Embrace them. God knows them, and He knows who you are and why you have these flaws. Remember God works all things together for good to those that love him...He even uses our flaws. Know your weaknesses, shore them up, don't be afraid to ask someone to help you. We have accepted Jesus, and he lives within us, so when we are walking in the Spirit we are following Jesus' steps. We are in essence showing Jesus to those who don't know Him. So who are we to say God made a mistake, and that these flaws we can't handle. We can't handle these things we can't gain victory of, through Jesus.

"The Gospel tells us two things: We are both flawed and perfect. We are full of pain and trouble, full of questions, yet we are the face of Jesus--blameless, righteous, and perfect."-Dan Haseltine, Relevant Magazine Jan/Feb 2006

I know one thing for sure, when I get to heaven, I am going to ask God why He gave me this mind that is often overthinking, doubtful, and searching. I know there is some reason, but there are times on Earth I feel like there is no reason for me to be thinking all of these idiotic thoughts. Yet, sometimes out of those thoughts come something worth keeping, something that makes an impact. I just wish it didn't take me so long to find that thought.

"It's not about what's underneath, Bruce, but what you do with it."-Batman Begins

God gave me my mind, but my sin corrupts it into the things He doesn't want me to go to. Could it be God does this so that we humans don't trust in our own power, but need someone else to run to? I am to blame for my flaws, but Jesus bought me with His blood, flaws and all. This must mean God will use our flaws in some way. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not us." God gives us our salvation in our corrupt bodies and minds, so that we can say its not because of me, but because of God. So realize when you think that you are an idiot or you mess up once more; that's where God wants you, realizing that only He can take the flaws and make something out of it. That's what its really all about, glorifying God, flaws and all.

The House

The water began to slowly trickle down the side of the decrepit house, falling from a broken gutter. It traced its way over rotted siding and into shattered windows. A young man stood on the porch in front of the door. A drop of water fell through the eroded shingles and landed on his head. The cool sensation made him look up and observe the decay of the house. Had it been only a year since he last visited? 

The house was new last time he was here. The paint shone in the noonday sun and yard was perfectly landscaped. However, for the young man that was only a distant memory now faced with the condemned building in front of him. What had happened? The young man continued in disbelief as he circled the premises of the house. 

In the backyard he saw the once beautiful garden reduced to shambles, filled with weeds and empty beer cans. The gazebo had collapsed upon itself and was now home to raccoons. A distant memory flickered through the young man's head as he tried to picture what it was like before. But that thought was gone before he could even register he had it. 

The young man knew there was something important about this house, that it carried something inside of it that meant his life would be what it used to be before last year. He decided he was going to repair the house and recover his previous life. 

Over the next five years the man worked tirelessly and finally restored the house to its former glory. He spent a large amount of money and lost a lot of friends because all he cared about was finding what he had before and returning to it. 

One night the man was sitting in the remodeled house and soaking in the beautiful feeling of restoring something that used to mean so much to him. At that instant, he heard a creaking noise coming from the basement. He got up and headed down the stairs. He reached the basement and heard the noise much louder this time coming from the main support beam of the house. He ran over to it and saw that it was almost chewed in half by some zealous termites. 

Then with one final squeal the beam split in two as the house collapsed upon the man. The very thing he had spent time, money and his life on returning to had been his ultimate demise. At his funeral, there were only a few people that showed up, and they lamented the fact that he had spent so much time on regaining the past when he had such a productive future to look forward to living. 

 

Reflections

Today, as I'm sure the entire population of America knows, is 9/11. Seven years ago on this day, the American population stopped and hung in suspense as the World Trade Centers were hit by planes flown by the hands of terrorists. But seven years later, did the events that happened that day actually make a difference in how we live as Americans and Christians?

I'd argue it did, but not in the way we wanted.

We're still the same selfish, arrogant country we've always been. I know on today, of all days, I should be standing behind my country and flying the flag of patriotism high, but honestly, I don't feel like it. I empathize with all the families who lost someone in the attacks, as well as all those citizens of New York who felt the blow much more than the rest of us, but I think the perspective most people approach 9/11 with is not right.

I walked into chapel this morning and heard the song "From The Inside Out" by Hillsong being played. It was a profound moment, seeing as just before my entrance to Harbison chapel, I had been having a discussion with Adam about 9/11. We were discussing the way the country has changed in the years after. He thought it had become more divided because of the war, a viewpoint I can recognize but don't entirely agree with. Before 9/11 the country was just as divided as now, but we forget that because during the aftermath of 9/11 the country came together in a flourish of patriotism that I can only imagine rivaled that of the American Revolution.

But things weren't better before then. They only seem worse because that patriotism decayed very quickly. Remember the 2000 Presidential Election, with the hanging chads, and the what seemed like 100's of recounts. The country was pretty divided over that.

Back to my profound moment. I had been thinking about 9/11 a little bit last night and didn't really arrive at any conclusion. I think it is important to recognize what happened and to not forget that acts of evil can and will happen in this fallen world. But as I walked into the chapel, something I already knew hit me again.

God is the only one who can make it all make sense. The only way I can make sense of the horrors of the earth and offer hope to others is through my Saviour.

I can't make 9/11 go away by bombing the people responsible. I think that's what America tries to do so often. But for those who lost family members and close friends, that hurt will never go away, and it won't be helped by revenge. Only God can help, and often that help is not manifested in the everyday world, but in the hearts of men.

We can't forget, but we can heal.
We can't heal through more violence and revenge.
We can't heal through extreme patriotism for a country that so often does not follow the Lord.
We can't heal through our own feeble attempts at grief and reconciliation.
The only way to be healed is through Jesus.

Does that sound cliche? Maybe, but it is true.

Our desire should not be to see America restored to her former glory, but to see God glorified. I still love America, but my first calling is to love my God. Revenge is a dangerous thing, and the Bible says, "Vengeance is the Lords." It isn't ours to take, so why do we so often?

But on today, of all days, we should lift our voice to the God who can help heal and redeem our fallen nation and our fallen souls. Pray for peace, not war. Pray for the endless cycle of violence to end, even if that won't be accomplished til Jesus returns. Pray for those who are and who you think are your enemies, because you never know what God can do. And don't ever forget what happened seven years ago, but don't let it control you either.

Back and Forth

Do you ever have that feeling that there is something inside of you waiting to burst out but you can't quite put your finger on it? That's what I feel like right now. School has started and already I've been handed my share of unexpected things. I've had to buy more books than anticipated, but that one is my own fault for assuming that I could get out this semester spending a small amount of money for books. My job got off to a bad start, with a weird situation involving the copier not working and me looking like some stupid idiot. My frisbee playing has been lackluster to say the least and I can already feel the desire to work out/eat well slipping away.

There is plenty of good too. I mean the Okie hall is sweet, and I love how me and Jordan's room turned out. Also, I've been able to get to bed earlier due to the one roommate and this makes me very happy. Despite my poor play, it's such a joy to get to play Ultimate and exercise alongside people that are of the caliber that we have at Grove City.

Then it switches back to bad. When your best friend and his girlfriend break up after going out for three years, instantly your day becomes worse, because you feel for him. I don't know what to say or do except be there for him.

Then back to good. Getting to hang out with the Okies is a pleasure and they are totally awesome and this year is going to be sweet. It's kinda weird not spending all the time with the guys on your freshman hall because you were so used to it, but it's a different, yet cool, dynamic.

Then back to bad. Andraya is far away and to make things slightly more difficult, she is an hour behind me at GCC. Which makes phone calls just a little more difficult trying to account for the time difference, especially because I've been trying to go to bed early due to my all 8 am classes this semester. And of course it's never easy being away from someone you love dearly.

Then back to good. At least she has a cellphone now and things are going well. At least she is at a great school where God wants her to be. And so am I. So if we can both place out trust in Him we are heading in a good direction.

I could go on like this forever, with things like how most of my professors seem to be great but some aren't, and how the food is just as crappy as it was last year, but I won't. Because this back and forth gains me nothing other than a simple understanding that life is never always all good or all bad. Sometimes it seems like one outweighs the other and of course we are normally trying to have the good outweigh the bad. But so often life is lived in such a way that the good is hard to see because we are so focused on the bad. And sometimes the good is very hard to find, but it is there.

So instead of complaining about how much it sucks, I'm going to try to find the best in life. It may be stressful and it may be difficult but life is still life and there is good to be found.

Obssessed With Violence?

Recently I was at the movie theater watching the second installment of the new Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. The movie itself was very good, but it was something that the crowd did that got me thinking. This Batman is very violent and dark, with the late Heath Ledger’s Joker being a psychotic killer out to commit evil just for the fun of it. And he does commit much evil and scatters death across the film. The audience’s reaction to much of this was laughter.

Some of the violence was played for laughs, but not to the extent that I heard laughter erupting from those watching. Of course, the movie isn’t real so no one is really dying, but just the fact that on screen hundreds of people were dying and everyone in the audience seemed to find that the most entertaining was quite disturbing.

Is this really the society of America as a whole? Are we really that calloused to death and violence that we find it funny in any movie that isn’t based on a true story?

There is a new movie coming out shortly entitled Deathrace. It is about a new reality tv show in where the contestants are pitted against each other in a race where the cars are equipped with weapons and the winner is the one who survives. I wonder how close America is to having that become a reality on television screens and not merely a fictional movie.

It’s an interesting thought to be sure. I know sometimes I fall prey to these kind of thoughts as well, and it’s hard not to in this media driven society where death and war is treated just like every other news story. People forget or maybe don’t even know what it means for people to be brutally murdered and taken advantage of by violent acts. That is why I think it is so important to have movies that are based on true stories and show people the real tragedies of violence and war.

So maybe next time you go see that new movie, check yourself and see if you think people dying is funny, because I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would assure you that it isn’t.

Politics vs. People

I don't understand politics and the things it does to people. To be frank the pickings are mighty slim in this year's election, but I think it provides an interesting case study in how people perceive others. Politics divides people more than almost any other thing in the world and I really don't think it should.

For instance most Christians I know really dislike Senator Obama. It's not just disagreement with his political views, which I disagree with for the most part, but an actual dislike of the man. Has he done anything to warrant this hatred? Sure maybe he's been wishy-washy on issues or said some things that have offended people, but is he an evil man? Maybe to certain people he is, but I really don't think the man is the second coming of Satan.

Actually, the Senator is a very likable man with some very good ideas. Do I think he would make a good President? No, not really, because he does not have enough experience or knowledge of the entire spectrum of things the President has to deal with. However, there have been several speeches the Senator has made and things he has done to reach out to all corners of the populous that make me admire him as a man, not a politician.

On Father's Day the Senator gave a speech imploring young African-American men to stop having babies and then leaving them without a father. A very pertinent message that is truthful and needed in those communities. A little while ago, the Senator spoke about how he feels it is important for children in America to be bilingual, something I agree with emphatically. Yet, the next day on the Rush Limbaugh show, the host was criticizing him and pointing to the fact English is spoken on airlines across the country as a reason against children learning a second language. Why can't conservatives admit that Senator Obama has some good ideas? Would that make them into liberal pawns?

Just because someone has different ideas and even possibly an agenda you don't agree with doesn't mean everything he says is wrong. And it certainly doesn't mean that he should be hated. I understand that it is difficult to find the good in people you disagree with, but sometimes it is necessary. It's hard enough to find good in this world, and condemning everything said by someone simply because you don't agree with them wholeheartedly only makes it harder.

The Bible says we are to love people. Senator Obama is a person. Therefore, we are to love Senator Obama, and maybe if we look at it that way, we can see that although he probably isn't the best choice to lead this country in the future, he has some things to say that are worth hearing.

New Blog

I just created a blog devoted to sports of all shapes and colors. Hopefully, you will see a relatively continuous stream of posts over there because there is always something to talk about in sports. The Velvet Conspiracy will still be here and I will write the more personal/spiritual side of things here and hopefully will write here a little more as well.

Here's the link and it will be on my sidebar as well as a link to my good friend's blog, which you all should read. Enjoy!

http://aflickofthewrist.blogspot.com

Verano

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The steady cadence of the beat moves the feet of my world as I try to spin.

No creo en el jamas.

The voices of time hint at a discovery still hidden.

A sign reads "space available for lease." It's been there for a while.

Fractured songs, holding your hand, watching the heat drip off the buildings.

Can you see it?

I sometimes know when I don't know enough.

"A la devocion a Dios, afecto fraternal, y al afecto fraternal, amor."

Add these things.

The shreds of my consciousness still sometimes produce meaning.

People change, life changes, God stays the same.

I'm glad I'm not the person I was in high school.

I'm going to miss the people I just got to know, and the ones I've known for a while.

Can you believe the summer is halfway over?

Dancing the Past Away

I sit here, tie undone, shirt untucked and am amazed at how life teaches lessons when they are least expected.

I just got back from the annual homeschool semi-formal. I wasn’t originally planning on going, but my mom ran into my old drama teacher during the day and I got an invite. So I donned my red shirt and white tie and traversed a mere minute down the road to visit with some of my old friends and acquaintances.

It was kind of like stepping back in time, except everything wasn’t how I remembered. The people I remembered weren’t there, and if they were they had changed, some of them drastically. They still knew me, and there were hugs aplenty and many questions about college, kind of the same old same old, yet I knew that most of these people actually cared. That’s something worth mentioning these days.

I was talking to my friend Tricia, and we began to talk about how it was a new generation of kids in the drama group, and they had their own memories to make, while all we could do is look back on the memories we already had. I then hypothesized if it was like that all the time being an adult. I mean do you just look back on the good times, while the younger people are forging their own good times, or does maybe your perception of good times entail people like your kids making their own sweet times to look back on?

I also had a brief conversation with the mom of one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in a while. I mentioned how much I missed him, and she said, “He misses you too.” The things that happen when you grow up, they aren’t always what you want them to be.

But it was the end of the dance that left me standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring into oblivion, with a lone bag of Ruffles hanging from my hands (it was free, college kids don’t pass up free food). I saw everyone around me, giving hugs, saying goodbye, some of them who might never have the same relationship with those people as they did before and it reminded me of myself last year.

Then everything came flooding into my mind. The realization that you can’t go back, because even if you haven’t changed, which is highly unlikely, everything else has. I was standing there seeing people going through something I had just gone through, and realizing they had no idea what was about to happen. I still have no idea what is about to happen. Maybe that’s why staying in the past is so attractive to people. Something that has already happened is easily controlled, whereas the future is an untamed beast and could very well bite your head off. And sometimes it does.

If you can’t go back there are only two places to be. Standing still wishing you could go back and resisting change as much as possible, or moving forward. You would think the latter would be preferred, considering that the past is not always filled with good memories and the future offers a chance for redemption. But why do we hang on to the past? Why would I rather look backwards at the good things that have gone past then moving forward to correct all the mistakes I’ve made in the past year?

The solution isn’t in the past. The solution is in the here and now. The solution is to trust in the God who controls the universe. There’s a saying, “The future is now.” Which is true because by the time I even think of what I’m going to do two seconds in the future I’ve already done it.

Maybe it hints at a deeper truth that the things you do in the present now will shape your future. The girl you date, the books you read, the movies you watch…maybe all these things shape the future, and we are so oblivious to them. Maybe I need to stop looking back at all my mistakes and victories and march forward confident in the work that God is doing.

An Octave Below

I've decided my musical tastes have changed quite a bit recently. I'm not exactly sure how it happened, maybe I just got bored with the metal and indie rock, or maybe now that I'm in college my demographic has changed what I listen to. Whatever the case now I frequently blare such artists as Talib Kweli, Jay-Z, and Kanye West from my speakers.

Yes indeed, Carl Laamanen, who once asserted rap was the lowest form of music(for the record it's actually grunge) now is a fan. I probably can't explain to you objectively why I become a fan, but nonetheless I have. Maybe some of it has to do with Draya, who enjoys hip-hop to a certain degree. But I really don't think it has anything to do with that, because I tend to listen to the more socially conscious rappers than the popular songs on the radio. Maybe I just wanted to branch out in music, and know a little bit about all of it. Maybe I discovered certain hip-hop that isn't all about sex, drugs, and violence. Maybe the beats stick in my head.

Whatever the case, I feel like presenting a small case for why certain hip-hop almost needs to be listened to, and while other artists should never be payed attention to ever again. I listen to some "Christian" hip-hop, and some of it is quite decent, but most of it can't compare to the production work done in the mainstream, and the talent of the MC's rapping is usually much less in the Christian realm.

Two of today's most popular hip-hop songs are "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" and "Low". Now before I go on a rant as to why these two songs in particular emphasize everything wrong with modern day hip-hop I will admit I know very little about the overall history of rap and it's many sub-genres. I do however know that the hip-hop played on the radio, with a few exceptions, is processed and simply made for the masses pushing messages that appeal to the sensual and matching that with plodding dance beats to get people moving.

Take for instance "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", which gained its popularity due to the dance that goes along with the song. Souja Boy is possibly the worst rapper I have ever heard. I have friends that can freestyle better than Soulja Boy. Now this might be almost forgivable if the music to the song was solid, but the production is weak and lacks any kind of emotion or creativity. Please don't get me started on these "amazing" lyrics...

"Soulja boy off in this ho, watch me crank it, watch me , watch me crank dat soulja boy, and superman that ho."

Never mind the obviously offensiveness and degradation to women in this song, that is only the beginning. Now I will admit many songs in the hip-hop world are very often filled with profanity and sexual references and as a general rule I avoid the more sexual songs, and listen to the edited versions of the others, yet still this line of lyrics is absolutely abhorrent. It doesn't even rhyme.

Now compare that to some lines from "Going Hard" by Talib Kweli, who unlike Soulja Boy actually can be comprehended while rapping and actually has something important to say.

"You busy screaming gangsta, gangsta all that talk is trite. You already lost the fight if you don't know the cost of life, these kids is forced to fight a war they can't outrun, ain't got no shoes but got a gun."

Kweli is actually a very spiritual MC, however he seems to normally presuppose a more every-road-leads-to-God mentality, but regardless of this at least he is trying to give a little hope than simply most hip-hop filled with depression and hatred. He is also known as a more political rapper, and yes many middle-class white people will not agree with his views, but I think it's important for us to at least understand the culture in which he speaks.

Another important aspect in hip-hop is storytelling. Now these stories are normally a bit more pg-13 rated then your average country song story, and they may not have as happy of an ending, but I think some portray an accurate picture of what goes on in the inner city. While song rappers revel in this and use it to get rich, others are actually trying to educate people and help those in the inner city. Those might be few and far between and, in fact, the reason they may be rapping about these things is that they were never educated themselves.

Now "Low" by Flo-Rida, has a much better musical backing than "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", however its lyrics are just as inane, and also show why mainstream rap music is considered by many a factor contributing to the further failing of our society. It's simplistic, silly, and quite honestly about nothing except a girl in a club.

"Apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur, everyone in the club was looking at her."

That is the simple hook of the chorus, however the verses, surprisingly profanity free, are very sexual in nature playing to the sensual and actually promoting prostitution. Now that's a great song...note the sarcasm please.

As I've already stated it is almost hypocritical to point out the flaws in these songs when some of the songs I listen to have similar natures. However, like I said I stay away from those in general and at least know what they are about. Most people just know the hook of "Low" and don't know what kind of song it actually is, much like 50 Cent's "Candyshop" a few years ago.

Now let's revisit my friend Talib Kweli, who's music I've been on a kick lately. He has his share of semi-sexual songs but he also has one song that blows anything misogynistic out of the water. In his song "Won't You Stay" he details a relationship that he has been pursuing for years because he loves the women. He doesn't want to use her or abuse her, but he loves her.

"I got faith in us, it's only you who really know me, I be surrounded by people, and still feel lonely."

So there it is, some of the reasons I now like rap. Maybe it's because I want something new and exciting. Maybe I found artistry in something that I thought there was none in before. I'm not sure, but expect another one of these little musical exposes on Monday during public speaking class.