Back and Forth

Do you ever have that feeling that there is something inside of you waiting to burst out but you can't quite put your finger on it? That's what I feel like right now. School has started and already I've been handed my share of unexpected things. I've had to buy more books than anticipated, but that one is my own fault for assuming that I could get out this semester spending a small amount of money for books. My job got off to a bad start, with a weird situation involving the copier not working and me looking like some stupid idiot. My frisbee playing has been lackluster to say the least and I can already feel the desire to work out/eat well slipping away.

There is plenty of good too. I mean the Okie hall is sweet, and I love how me and Jordan's room turned out. Also, I've been able to get to bed earlier due to the one roommate and this makes me very happy. Despite my poor play, it's such a joy to get to play Ultimate and exercise alongside people that are of the caliber that we have at Grove City.

Then it switches back to bad. When your best friend and his girlfriend break up after going out for three years, instantly your day becomes worse, because you feel for him. I don't know what to say or do except be there for him.

Then back to good. Getting to hang out with the Okies is a pleasure and they are totally awesome and this year is going to be sweet. It's kinda weird not spending all the time with the guys on your freshman hall because you were so used to it, but it's a different, yet cool, dynamic.

Then back to bad. Andraya is far away and to make things slightly more difficult, she is an hour behind me at GCC. Which makes phone calls just a little more difficult trying to account for the time difference, especially because I've been trying to go to bed early due to my all 8 am classes this semester. And of course it's never easy being away from someone you love dearly.

Then back to good. At least she has a cellphone now and things are going well. At least she is at a great school where God wants her to be. And so am I. So if we can both place out trust in Him we are heading in a good direction.

I could go on like this forever, with things like how most of my professors seem to be great but some aren't, and how the food is just as crappy as it was last year, but I won't. Because this back and forth gains me nothing other than a simple understanding that life is never always all good or all bad. Sometimes it seems like one outweighs the other and of course we are normally trying to have the good outweigh the bad. But so often life is lived in such a way that the good is hard to see because we are so focused on the bad. And sometimes the good is very hard to find, but it is there.

So instead of complaining about how much it sucks, I'm going to try to find the best in life. It may be stressful and it may be difficult but life is still life and there is good to be found.

Obssessed With Violence?

Recently I was at the movie theater watching the second installment of the new Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. The movie itself was very good, but it was something that the crowd did that got me thinking. This Batman is very violent and dark, with the late Heath Ledger’s Joker being a psychotic killer out to commit evil just for the fun of it. And he does commit much evil and scatters death across the film. The audience’s reaction to much of this was laughter.

Some of the violence was played for laughs, but not to the extent that I heard laughter erupting from those watching. Of course, the movie isn’t real so no one is really dying, but just the fact that on screen hundreds of people were dying and everyone in the audience seemed to find that the most entertaining was quite disturbing.

Is this really the society of America as a whole? Are we really that calloused to death and violence that we find it funny in any movie that isn’t based on a true story?

There is a new movie coming out shortly entitled Deathrace. It is about a new reality tv show in where the contestants are pitted against each other in a race where the cars are equipped with weapons and the winner is the one who survives. I wonder how close America is to having that become a reality on television screens and not merely a fictional movie.

It’s an interesting thought to be sure. I know sometimes I fall prey to these kind of thoughts as well, and it’s hard not to in this media driven society where death and war is treated just like every other news story. People forget or maybe don’t even know what it means for people to be brutally murdered and taken advantage of by violent acts. That is why I think it is so important to have movies that are based on true stories and show people the real tragedies of violence and war.

So maybe next time you go see that new movie, check yourself and see if you think people dying is funny, because I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would assure you that it isn’t.

Politics vs. People

I don't understand politics and the things it does to people. To be frank the pickings are mighty slim in this year's election, but I think it provides an interesting case study in how people perceive others. Politics divides people more than almost any other thing in the world and I really don't think it should.

For instance most Christians I know really dislike Senator Obama. It's not just disagreement with his political views, which I disagree with for the most part, but an actual dislike of the man. Has he done anything to warrant this hatred? Sure maybe he's been wishy-washy on issues or said some things that have offended people, but is he an evil man? Maybe to certain people he is, but I really don't think the man is the second coming of Satan.

Actually, the Senator is a very likable man with some very good ideas. Do I think he would make a good President? No, not really, because he does not have enough experience or knowledge of the entire spectrum of things the President has to deal with. However, there have been several speeches the Senator has made and things he has done to reach out to all corners of the populous that make me admire him as a man, not a politician.

On Father's Day the Senator gave a speech imploring young African-American men to stop having babies and then leaving them without a father. A very pertinent message that is truthful and needed in those communities. A little while ago, the Senator spoke about how he feels it is important for children in America to be bilingual, something I agree with emphatically. Yet, the next day on the Rush Limbaugh show, the host was criticizing him and pointing to the fact English is spoken on airlines across the country as a reason against children learning a second language. Why can't conservatives admit that Senator Obama has some good ideas? Would that make them into liberal pawns?

Just because someone has different ideas and even possibly an agenda you don't agree with doesn't mean everything he says is wrong. And it certainly doesn't mean that he should be hated. I understand that it is difficult to find the good in people you disagree with, but sometimes it is necessary. It's hard enough to find good in this world, and condemning everything said by someone simply because you don't agree with them wholeheartedly only makes it harder.

The Bible says we are to love people. Senator Obama is a person. Therefore, we are to love Senator Obama, and maybe if we look at it that way, we can see that although he probably isn't the best choice to lead this country in the future, he has some things to say that are worth hearing.

New Blog

I just created a blog devoted to sports of all shapes and colors. Hopefully, you will see a relatively continuous stream of posts over there because there is always something to talk about in sports. The Velvet Conspiracy will still be here and I will write the more personal/spiritual side of things here and hopefully will write here a little more as well.

Here's the link and it will be on my sidebar as well as a link to my good friend's blog, which you all should read. Enjoy!

http://aflickofthewrist.blogspot.com

Verano

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The steady cadence of the beat moves the feet of my world as I try to spin.

No creo en el jamas.

The voices of time hint at a discovery still hidden.

A sign reads "space available for lease." It's been there for a while.

Fractured songs, holding your hand, watching the heat drip off the buildings.

Can you see it?

I sometimes know when I don't know enough.

"A la devocion a Dios, afecto fraternal, y al afecto fraternal, amor."

Add these things.

The shreds of my consciousness still sometimes produce meaning.

People change, life changes, God stays the same.

I'm glad I'm not the person I was in high school.

I'm going to miss the people I just got to know, and the ones I've known for a while.

Can you believe the summer is halfway over?

Dancing the Past Away

I sit here, tie undone, shirt untucked and am amazed at how life teaches lessons when they are least expected.

I just got back from the annual homeschool semi-formal. I wasn’t originally planning on going, but my mom ran into my old drama teacher during the day and I got an invite. So I donned my red shirt and white tie and traversed a mere minute down the road to visit with some of my old friends and acquaintances.

It was kind of like stepping back in time, except everything wasn’t how I remembered. The people I remembered weren’t there, and if they were they had changed, some of them drastically. They still knew me, and there were hugs aplenty and many questions about college, kind of the same old same old, yet I knew that most of these people actually cared. That’s something worth mentioning these days.

I was talking to my friend Tricia, and we began to talk about how it was a new generation of kids in the drama group, and they had their own memories to make, while all we could do is look back on the memories we already had. I then hypothesized if it was like that all the time being an adult. I mean do you just look back on the good times, while the younger people are forging their own good times, or does maybe your perception of good times entail people like your kids making their own sweet times to look back on?

I also had a brief conversation with the mom of one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in a while. I mentioned how much I missed him, and she said, “He misses you too.” The things that happen when you grow up, they aren’t always what you want them to be.

But it was the end of the dance that left me standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring into oblivion, with a lone bag of Ruffles hanging from my hands (it was free, college kids don’t pass up free food). I saw everyone around me, giving hugs, saying goodbye, some of them who might never have the same relationship with those people as they did before and it reminded me of myself last year.

Then everything came flooding into my mind. The realization that you can’t go back, because even if you haven’t changed, which is highly unlikely, everything else has. I was standing there seeing people going through something I had just gone through, and realizing they had no idea what was about to happen. I still have no idea what is about to happen. Maybe that’s why staying in the past is so attractive to people. Something that has already happened is easily controlled, whereas the future is an untamed beast and could very well bite your head off. And sometimes it does.

If you can’t go back there are only two places to be. Standing still wishing you could go back and resisting change as much as possible, or moving forward. You would think the latter would be preferred, considering that the past is not always filled with good memories and the future offers a chance for redemption. But why do we hang on to the past? Why would I rather look backwards at the good things that have gone past then moving forward to correct all the mistakes I’ve made in the past year?

The solution isn’t in the past. The solution is in the here and now. The solution is to trust in the God who controls the universe. There’s a saying, “The future is now.” Which is true because by the time I even think of what I’m going to do two seconds in the future I’ve already done it.

Maybe it hints at a deeper truth that the things you do in the present now will shape your future. The girl you date, the books you read, the movies you watch…maybe all these things shape the future, and we are so oblivious to them. Maybe I need to stop looking back at all my mistakes and victories and march forward confident in the work that God is doing.

An Octave Below

I've decided my musical tastes have changed quite a bit recently. I'm not exactly sure how it happened, maybe I just got bored with the metal and indie rock, or maybe now that I'm in college my demographic has changed what I listen to. Whatever the case now I frequently blare such artists as Talib Kweli, Jay-Z, and Kanye West from my speakers.

Yes indeed, Carl Laamanen, who once asserted rap was the lowest form of music(for the record it's actually grunge) now is a fan. I probably can't explain to you objectively why I become a fan, but nonetheless I have. Maybe some of it has to do with Draya, who enjoys hip-hop to a certain degree. But I really don't think it has anything to do with that, because I tend to listen to the more socially conscious rappers than the popular songs on the radio. Maybe I just wanted to branch out in music, and know a little bit about all of it. Maybe I discovered certain hip-hop that isn't all about sex, drugs, and violence. Maybe the beats stick in my head.

Whatever the case, I feel like presenting a small case for why certain hip-hop almost needs to be listened to, and while other artists should never be payed attention to ever again. I listen to some "Christian" hip-hop, and some of it is quite decent, but most of it can't compare to the production work done in the mainstream, and the talent of the MC's rapping is usually much less in the Christian realm.

Two of today's most popular hip-hop songs are "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" and "Low". Now before I go on a rant as to why these two songs in particular emphasize everything wrong with modern day hip-hop I will admit I know very little about the overall history of rap and it's many sub-genres. I do however know that the hip-hop played on the radio, with a few exceptions, is processed and simply made for the masses pushing messages that appeal to the sensual and matching that with plodding dance beats to get people moving.

Take for instance "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", which gained its popularity due to the dance that goes along with the song. Souja Boy is possibly the worst rapper I have ever heard. I have friends that can freestyle better than Soulja Boy. Now this might be almost forgivable if the music to the song was solid, but the production is weak and lacks any kind of emotion or creativity. Please don't get me started on these "amazing" lyrics...

"Soulja boy off in this ho, watch me crank it, watch me , watch me crank dat soulja boy, and superman that ho."

Never mind the obviously offensiveness and degradation to women in this song, that is only the beginning. Now I will admit many songs in the hip-hop world are very often filled with profanity and sexual references and as a general rule I avoid the more sexual songs, and listen to the edited versions of the others, yet still this line of lyrics is absolutely abhorrent. It doesn't even rhyme.

Now compare that to some lines from "Going Hard" by Talib Kweli, who unlike Soulja Boy actually can be comprehended while rapping and actually has something important to say.

"You busy screaming gangsta, gangsta all that talk is trite. You already lost the fight if you don't know the cost of life, these kids is forced to fight a war they can't outrun, ain't got no shoes but got a gun."

Kweli is actually a very spiritual MC, however he seems to normally presuppose a more every-road-leads-to-God mentality, but regardless of this at least he is trying to give a little hope than simply most hip-hop filled with depression and hatred. He is also known as a more political rapper, and yes many middle-class white people will not agree with his views, but I think it's important for us to at least understand the culture in which he speaks.

Another important aspect in hip-hop is storytelling. Now these stories are normally a bit more pg-13 rated then your average country song story, and they may not have as happy of an ending, but I think some portray an accurate picture of what goes on in the inner city. While song rappers revel in this and use it to get rich, others are actually trying to educate people and help those in the inner city. Those might be few and far between and, in fact, the reason they may be rapping about these things is that they were never educated themselves.

Now "Low" by Flo-Rida, has a much better musical backing than "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", however its lyrics are just as inane, and also show why mainstream rap music is considered by many a factor contributing to the further failing of our society. It's simplistic, silly, and quite honestly about nothing except a girl in a club.

"Apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur, everyone in the club was looking at her."

That is the simple hook of the chorus, however the verses, surprisingly profanity free, are very sexual in nature playing to the sensual and actually promoting prostitution. Now that's a great song...note the sarcasm please.

As I've already stated it is almost hypocritical to point out the flaws in these songs when some of the songs I listen to have similar natures. However, like I said I stay away from those in general and at least know what they are about. Most people just know the hook of "Low" and don't know what kind of song it actually is, much like 50 Cent's "Candyshop" a few years ago.

Now let's revisit my friend Talib Kweli, who's music I've been on a kick lately. He has his share of semi-sexual songs but he also has one song that blows anything misogynistic out of the water. In his song "Won't You Stay" he details a relationship that he has been pursuing for years because he loves the women. He doesn't want to use her or abuse her, but he loves her.

"I got faith in us, it's only you who really know me, I be surrounded by people, and still feel lonely."

So there it is, some of the reasons I now like rap. Maybe it's because I want something new and exciting. Maybe I found artistry in something that I thought there was none in before. I'm not sure, but expect another one of these little musical exposes on Monday during public speaking class.