New Blog

I just created a blog devoted to sports of all shapes and colors. Hopefully, you will see a relatively continuous stream of posts over there because there is always something to talk about in sports. The Velvet Conspiracy will still be here and I will write the more personal/spiritual side of things here and hopefully will write here a little more as well.

Here's the link and it will be on my sidebar as well as a link to my good friend's blog, which you all should read. Enjoy!

http://aflickofthewrist.blogspot.com

Verano

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The steady cadence of the beat moves the feet of my world as I try to spin.

No creo en el jamas.

The voices of time hint at a discovery still hidden.

A sign reads "space available for lease." It's been there for a while.

Fractured songs, holding your hand, watching the heat drip off the buildings.

Can you see it?

I sometimes know when I don't know enough.

"A la devocion a Dios, afecto fraternal, y al afecto fraternal, amor."

Add these things.

The shreds of my consciousness still sometimes produce meaning.

People change, life changes, God stays the same.

I'm glad I'm not the person I was in high school.

I'm going to miss the people I just got to know, and the ones I've known for a while.

Can you believe the summer is halfway over?

Dancing the Past Away

I sit here, tie undone, shirt untucked and am amazed at how life teaches lessons when they are least expected.

I just got back from the annual homeschool semi-formal. I wasn’t originally planning on going, but my mom ran into my old drama teacher during the day and I got an invite. So I donned my red shirt and white tie and traversed a mere minute down the road to visit with some of my old friends and acquaintances.

It was kind of like stepping back in time, except everything wasn’t how I remembered. The people I remembered weren’t there, and if they were they had changed, some of them drastically. They still knew me, and there were hugs aplenty and many questions about college, kind of the same old same old, yet I knew that most of these people actually cared. That’s something worth mentioning these days.

I was talking to my friend Tricia, and we began to talk about how it was a new generation of kids in the drama group, and they had their own memories to make, while all we could do is look back on the memories we already had. I then hypothesized if it was like that all the time being an adult. I mean do you just look back on the good times, while the younger people are forging their own good times, or does maybe your perception of good times entail people like your kids making their own sweet times to look back on?

I also had a brief conversation with the mom of one of my best friends who I haven’t seen in a while. I mentioned how much I missed him, and she said, “He misses you too.” The things that happen when you grow up, they aren’t always what you want them to be.

But it was the end of the dance that left me standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring into oblivion, with a lone bag of Ruffles hanging from my hands (it was free, college kids don’t pass up free food). I saw everyone around me, giving hugs, saying goodbye, some of them who might never have the same relationship with those people as they did before and it reminded me of myself last year.

Then everything came flooding into my mind. The realization that you can’t go back, because even if you haven’t changed, which is highly unlikely, everything else has. I was standing there seeing people going through something I had just gone through, and realizing they had no idea what was about to happen. I still have no idea what is about to happen. Maybe that’s why staying in the past is so attractive to people. Something that has already happened is easily controlled, whereas the future is an untamed beast and could very well bite your head off. And sometimes it does.

If you can’t go back there are only two places to be. Standing still wishing you could go back and resisting change as much as possible, or moving forward. You would think the latter would be preferred, considering that the past is not always filled with good memories and the future offers a chance for redemption. But why do we hang on to the past? Why would I rather look backwards at the good things that have gone past then moving forward to correct all the mistakes I’ve made in the past year?

The solution isn’t in the past. The solution is in the here and now. The solution is to trust in the God who controls the universe. There’s a saying, “The future is now.” Which is true because by the time I even think of what I’m going to do two seconds in the future I’ve already done it.

Maybe it hints at a deeper truth that the things you do in the present now will shape your future. The girl you date, the books you read, the movies you watch…maybe all these things shape the future, and we are so oblivious to them. Maybe I need to stop looking back at all my mistakes and victories and march forward confident in the work that God is doing.

An Octave Below

I've decided my musical tastes have changed quite a bit recently. I'm not exactly sure how it happened, maybe I just got bored with the metal and indie rock, or maybe now that I'm in college my demographic has changed what I listen to. Whatever the case now I frequently blare such artists as Talib Kweli, Jay-Z, and Kanye West from my speakers.

Yes indeed, Carl Laamanen, who once asserted rap was the lowest form of music(for the record it's actually grunge) now is a fan. I probably can't explain to you objectively why I become a fan, but nonetheless I have. Maybe some of it has to do with Draya, who enjoys hip-hop to a certain degree. But I really don't think it has anything to do with that, because I tend to listen to the more socially conscious rappers than the popular songs on the radio. Maybe I just wanted to branch out in music, and know a little bit about all of it. Maybe I discovered certain hip-hop that isn't all about sex, drugs, and violence. Maybe the beats stick in my head.

Whatever the case, I feel like presenting a small case for why certain hip-hop almost needs to be listened to, and while other artists should never be payed attention to ever again. I listen to some "Christian" hip-hop, and some of it is quite decent, but most of it can't compare to the production work done in the mainstream, and the talent of the MC's rapping is usually much less in the Christian realm.

Two of today's most popular hip-hop songs are "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" and "Low". Now before I go on a rant as to why these two songs in particular emphasize everything wrong with modern day hip-hop I will admit I know very little about the overall history of rap and it's many sub-genres. I do however know that the hip-hop played on the radio, with a few exceptions, is processed and simply made for the masses pushing messages that appeal to the sensual and matching that with plodding dance beats to get people moving.

Take for instance "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", which gained its popularity due to the dance that goes along with the song. Souja Boy is possibly the worst rapper I have ever heard. I have friends that can freestyle better than Soulja Boy. Now this might be almost forgivable if the music to the song was solid, but the production is weak and lacks any kind of emotion or creativity. Please don't get me started on these "amazing" lyrics...

"Soulja boy off in this ho, watch me crank it, watch me , watch me crank dat soulja boy, and superman that ho."

Never mind the obviously offensiveness and degradation to women in this song, that is only the beginning. Now I will admit many songs in the hip-hop world are very often filled with profanity and sexual references and as a general rule I avoid the more sexual songs, and listen to the edited versions of the others, yet still this line of lyrics is absolutely abhorrent. It doesn't even rhyme.

Now compare that to some lines from "Going Hard" by Talib Kweli, who unlike Soulja Boy actually can be comprehended while rapping and actually has something important to say.

"You busy screaming gangsta, gangsta all that talk is trite. You already lost the fight if you don't know the cost of life, these kids is forced to fight a war they can't outrun, ain't got no shoes but got a gun."

Kweli is actually a very spiritual MC, however he seems to normally presuppose a more every-road-leads-to-God mentality, but regardless of this at least he is trying to give a little hope than simply most hip-hop filled with depression and hatred. He is also known as a more political rapper, and yes many middle-class white people will not agree with his views, but I think it's important for us to at least understand the culture in which he speaks.

Another important aspect in hip-hop is storytelling. Now these stories are normally a bit more pg-13 rated then your average country song story, and they may not have as happy of an ending, but I think some portray an accurate picture of what goes on in the inner city. While song rappers revel in this and use it to get rich, others are actually trying to educate people and help those in the inner city. Those might be few and far between and, in fact, the reason they may be rapping about these things is that they were never educated themselves.

Now "Low" by Flo-Rida, has a much better musical backing than "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)", however its lyrics are just as inane, and also show why mainstream rap music is considered by many a factor contributing to the further failing of our society. It's simplistic, silly, and quite honestly about nothing except a girl in a club.

"Apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur, everyone in the club was looking at her."

That is the simple hook of the chorus, however the verses, surprisingly profanity free, are very sexual in nature playing to the sensual and actually promoting prostitution. Now that's a great song...note the sarcasm please.

As I've already stated it is almost hypocritical to point out the flaws in these songs when some of the songs I listen to have similar natures. However, like I said I stay away from those in general and at least know what they are about. Most people just know the hook of "Low" and don't know what kind of song it actually is, much like 50 Cent's "Candyshop" a few years ago.

Now let's revisit my friend Talib Kweli, who's music I've been on a kick lately. He has his share of semi-sexual songs but he also has one song that blows anything misogynistic out of the water. In his song "Won't You Stay" he details a relationship that he has been pursuing for years because he loves the women. He doesn't want to use her or abuse her, but he loves her.

"I got faith in us, it's only you who really know me, I be surrounded by people, and still feel lonely."

So there it is, some of the reasons I now like rap. Maybe it's because I want something new and exciting. Maybe I found artistry in something that I thought there was none in before. I'm not sure, but expect another one of these little musical exposes on Monday during public speaking class.

"I want to see retired teenagers"

"We stopped turning out new adult models in the 1960's."

These are the words of Charles Wiley, veteran journalist and reporter, who was a guest speaker in our journalism class. That is part of his rather lengthy response to the question I asked about why journalism has taken a shift from being more objective and newsworthy in the 40's to today's media.

His response sparked a great deal of thought in me. To put it simply Mr. Wiley said that before the 60's, there was no such thing as teenagers, and in those days the children were striving to be adults. They didn't want to be teenagers, they wanted to grow up and gain enough wisdom to be considered adults. This changed in the 60's and the teenage culture was created. As a former, well I hope former, member of the teenage culture I completely agree with him. I was just a teenager a short year ago, and even though in many respects I still am, I already don't understand the culture like I used to.

But his point brings up an interesting line of thought. What if I become a career teenager? Someone who never breaks free from those teenage pastimes and mentalities. Now thankfully I think I'm on the path toward adulthood, and that's where I want to be, but I'm still a teenager in a lot of regards.

At college there are still a lot of career teenagers. I'm all about having fun, but some stuff is just so childish, and its labeled fun and if you don't like it you are a fun killer or something of the ilk. It's all fun and games until you pull something like that in the business world, then you are fired. It's great to have an opinion, until you deeply offend someone because of how you present it.

It's true though, that sometimes I need to loosen up, but I really don't want to be that person that turns 25, and everyone still considers a kid. I don't know where that line is, but I think it's at a place where immaturity no longer outweighs responsibility. And I doubt I'm there yet, but I hope I will be there soon.

Another reason this mentality is perpetuated, is because when someone who is trying to be responsible and act like adult they are often ridiculed by their peers for not having enough fun. Well, maybe that can be true, but who's to say that why we are having our "fun" that person isn't learning valuable life lessons.

Anyway, those are a few thoughts. Take advantage of being a teenager, but don't stay stuck in that culture, because those who remain teenagers are not the ones who impact the world in great ways. It's ok to have that remnant of childish behavior, because without it everyone would be boring, but don't let it overtake your responsibility. We are tomorrow's leaders, and I don't want teenagers and teenage drama to be what this world is always talking about. So with all respect "grow up".

"EASY" too "EASY"

I like things to be easy.

I’ve come to the conclusion this is a bad thing. I think everyone likes things to be easy to a certain degree, but the some of the best things in life aren’t easy. Did Martin Luther King Jr. give up because his road was hard and filled with danger? Did Jesus give up his mission to save those who were lost because it involved a cross?

No.

Do I give up and take the easy way out?

Often I do, and I’m supposed to be following Jesus.

“Take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Jesus said that, didn’t he? He also said something that sounds so paradoxical to that no wonder some people called him crazy.

“My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Does that mean that the hard road, filled with burdens, tough forgiveness, and the cross is easy?

Maybe it does. Maybe us in America, especially me, want life to be easy and are so consumed with our technology and easy consumerism that we forego any difficulties. Maybe the very difficulties God is trying to use to purify us.

I’m so consumed with easy. Maybe that’s why being in a long distance relationship is hard. Because I want to be like all the couples at college, together and easy. But if I really love her then hard is merely a word in the way of everything I really want. Hard is not “hard” but a challenge to rise to, an obstacle in the way of something truly beautiful.

I’ve never thought of it in that way before. That could be why I fail. Fail to step up to the plate. Fail to be a man so often, and let other people do things that I could do. Maybe I can’t do them by myself.

“You are my strength when I am weak,” so goes the lyric in the popular song.

I’m always weak. Therefore God should always be my strength. With God I can do anything, including actually being a person that can hurdle the obstacles I face. God can make me into the man I need to be, because I can’t do any of it myself.

But letting God do this involves me throwing my entire being onto Him, and letting him work in my life. It includes giving him all my dreams and hopes, and inevitably being thrown into situations where I am uncomfortable. Am I ready for that? Can I afford to not be ready for that?

Life is not about what I can do for myself, but what I can do for God. What I can do for God is let him use me, and if I do that everything else works out. I say that a lot. I say a lot of things a lot. Do I follow them? I wish I could say I do. I wish and pray that I would stop being proud of my awareness of issues and actually do something about them.

And I can. But not by myself. Especially not when “easy” is what I live my life for. If I want the easy that people think about I should give up on all my aspirations for life and love.

Maybe God’s road is easy because of its hardships, not despite of them. Those hardships form character that forms a foundation of a life for a person who is truly alive. A person that is so confident in the grace and forgiveness of God that their problems seem like shadows compared to the glorious light of his face. A person who finds their strength in the glory of God and his sustaining power. A person that loves because they can’t do anything else because they are so wrapped up in the love of Christ. A person that is secure in Christ and is humble and confident that their opinions and talents have nothing to do with themselves.

That is the person I want to be, and I’m a long way off. In the words of U2, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,” but I know where it is.

So reject the false promises of easy. The prosperity gospel and “best life now’s”. They aren’t true, and are antithetical to the Gospel itself. The road of Christ is filled with suffering and passion, but also miracles and salvation. Redemption is often found in the darkest places of humanity, in particular inside each and every one’s heart. A light is shining that promises an easy yoke, but a hard road, and a narrow one. It’s hard to balance and we all fall, but God can pick us back up. I’m still learning this and I hope that you can learn it too.

Pledge, Pledge, Pledge Your Boat Gently Down The Stream...

Omicron Xi.

Yes indeed I have joined a fraternity. It was probably the last thing on my mind when I entered Grove City last September, yet over a period of time the idea began to grow on me and here I am pledging with the Okies.

I decided to attempt to join the Okies after hanging out with them for a while last semester and then at the beginning of this one. So early Saturday morning I was woken up by the entire fraternity in my room, basically saying they wanted me to join.

So I accepted the bid and here I am pledging. I can’t tell you much if anything about what is happening this week, but so far it’s been fun, a bit odd, and I’ve got to know the guys pledging much better in a few short days. I’m looking forward to the rest of pledging with excitement and a little nervousness. But God is at the center of this endeavor, and I’m going to have to rely on Him and my future brothers for the strength necessary.

This is not a lengthy blog, but it serves as an informative one. As for the name “Okies”, it is derived from the fraternity letters. Omicron=O and “kies” is the plural of Xi. So Draya that’s why it’s the Okies.