Pledge, Pledge, Pledge Your Boat Gently Down The Stream...

Omicron Xi.

Yes indeed I have joined a fraternity. It was probably the last thing on my mind when I entered Grove City last September, yet over a period of time the idea began to grow on me and here I am pledging with the Okies.

I decided to attempt to join the Okies after hanging out with them for a while last semester and then at the beginning of this one. So early Saturday morning I was woken up by the entire fraternity in my room, basically saying they wanted me to join.

So I accepted the bid and here I am pledging. I can’t tell you much if anything about what is happening this week, but so far it’s been fun, a bit odd, and I’ve got to know the guys pledging much better in a few short days. I’m looking forward to the rest of pledging with excitement and a little nervousness. But God is at the center of this endeavor, and I’m going to have to rely on Him and my future brothers for the strength necessary.

This is not a lengthy blog, but it serves as an informative one. As for the name “Okies”, it is derived from the fraternity letters. Omicron=O and “kies” is the plural of Xi. So Draya that’s why it’s the Okies.

Falling and Picking Up

Well last night was the last night I’ll be spending in the Grove for the next five weeks or so. As the various members of our hall filed out, the hall became less lively and soon the man wall was taken down, further solidifying the finality of this moment: the semester is over. I have survived with pretty good grades, made some sweet friends, and come to a point where I am beginning to understand where I need to be in relationship with God.

The truth be told, the past 2 months have been, as far as my personal character and relationship with God go, two of the worst months of my life. I became a very selfish person in the span of this time, and did more damage to people than help. But that’s all behind me now. I’ve made my mistakes, and it’s time to accept responsibility, accept forgiveness, and forgive myself.

Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

Learn to pick myself up. That is something I often relegate to other people to do for me, instead of learning how to do it myself. I don’t like it when I fail, so I normally let myself sit on the ground in self-pity or analyzing the crap out of what caused me to fail trying to make myself perfect.

But that will never happen.

I can’t be perfect.

I will never be the person I am meant to be until I accept this fact, and embrace it. I have to embrace the flaws I have, and know that God loves me in spite of them. In fact, the only way I know how to love God is because I fail so often.

If I was perfect I wouldn’t need God. But I need Him so desperately.

So I’ll keep praying and keep striving to be the best person I can be, but at the same time I’ll learn to live with my flaws, and hopefully begin to understand that they help make me who I am. And this truth is actually quite beautiful, for God works in us despite our flaws. And sometimes He even uses our flaws to help others. What could be more beautiful than that?

Girls, Groves, and God

In recent dorm/college life news the ceiling in our hallway has now become home to various pictures of attractive movie stars and actresses. This may sound weird, but firstly we are guys, secondly none of the pictures are crude on any way, and thirdly there is a story behind this. One side of our hallway is deemed the "man wall" and has pictures exuding manliness such as Slash from Guitar Hero 3, Jason Bourne, a Subway pastrami sandwich, some random spanish dude we found in the lounge, etc. The other side is home to the "woMan wall" or "the you are dead to me wall". This wall includes pictures of kittens looking horrified spewing comments of "dumbledore is gay?" and the like. The wall is also home to a picture of the recent incarnation of the Rocky franchise...because come on...five is way too many. So this only leaves the ceiling to put other things on. In fact, up until two days ago the ceiling was untouched, however someone put a picture of Megan Fox(Transformers girl) on the "woMan wall" and this being a clear discretion of the rules, she was moved to the ceiling.

Then in the span of about two hours, Natalie Portman(circa Attack of the Clones), Hadyen Panettiere(of Heroes fame), Kiera Knightly(unfortunately a picture from King Arthur), I think Kate Beckinsale, and of course the aforementioned Megan Fox were now over our heads as we walked. I was looking for a picture of Reese Witherspoon from Walk The Line, because she looks better as a brunette(as anyone does), to put up there and couldn't find anything except a picture all too small.

Now I'm sure there are a few of you reading this, thinking that this is a little creepy and wondering why me, who has a girlfriend, was actually thinking about participating in this. However, I think a little differently, and I think Draya actually helped me think about it in this way. If one is not lusting after a girl and is simply admiring her beauty, something that can be hard to do depending on the nature of who the girl is and other factors, then it is almost akin to admiring a sunset. God created people to be beautiful, and if you can find that beauty in people and praise God for it then there is nothing wrong with it. Being attracted to people is a natural thing, just as long as this attraction doesn't morph into something potentially deadly to either a relationship with God or a significant other it is a normal part of life.

I still think one girl is prettier than all the rest. Now on to the serious part of this blog.

When I was riding back to Massachusetts, I started to listen to the trusty Relevant podcast to ward away my boredom and offer some laughs, music, and spiritual reflection. During one of the podcasts(I must have listened to three or so), Sara Groves preformed a couple songs from her new album "Tell Me What You Know." One of these songs was entitled "I Saw What I Saw", and I can say that is one of the most breathtaking songs I've heard in a while. Just Sara Groves and a piano breathlessly dropping notes into the air...but it was so much more than that. I listened to it over again, and let her voice softly resound through my ears.

So when I got back to school I opened up good old Ruckus and downloaded the album. And while the rest of the album is definitely worth a look for fans of female vocalists and intelligent lyrics, "I Saw What I Saw" still stood out. But it wasn't until a read a recent interview with Sara conducted by Christianity Today that I fully comprehended the song...well as much as one can comprehend a piece of music like that. She talks about the whole album as a culmination of really an idea started in her mind a few years ago when she began to get involved with International Justice Mission, a charity that rescues girls being abused in the sex trade, and many other things. The album to Sara is a call to get up and do something about things happening in the world, and it is seen very much so in the lyrics.

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
And what I know of love

That is the chorus to "I Saw What I Saw." This is what Sara said about the song, in particular the second verse.

"That one gets me every time. I have a hard time even talking about it, and I had to go gather myself many times when I was trying to do the vocals.

I heard the story of Nagaraj, a man who with his wife was enslaved in Southeast Asia. He was working sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. They had three young sons, and as they began to get older, they were being groomed to be slaves themselves. They were beaten. They had to work in the hot sun. They were not allowed to go to school.

Nagaraj watched the abuse of his family every single day, and he started to say, "This just can't be their future. I can't live with that." And so God made a way for him—through a miraculous set of circumstances—to connect with IJM. IJM conducted an investigation and ended up freeing all eighty people that were in that compound.

They applied for a grant, and now Nagaraj and these other eighty people own a brick co-op. Now the imprint on the brick is Nagaraj's initials, where it used to be the slave owner's initials. And he holds up this brick and he says, "This is my sons' legacy—it's freedom."

In that second verse of "I Saw What I Saw," I am singing about Nagaraj's young son. I was thinking about this little boy, and asking always the question in my heart: What was heavier that whole time—the weight of those bricks as he was being groomed to carry more and more weight? Or the weight of glory on that little boy's life as an image bearer of God, not a mere mortal? When you start seeing human beings like that, it changes the whole scenery."-Sara Groves, http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/interviews/2007/saragroves-1107.html

I encourage you to read the whole interview, to understand things going on in the world a little better, and like I try and fail so often I ask you to attempt to do something about it. It's not easy, and I spend a lot of time talking and not enough doing, but without knowledge people will never really know why they should act. So check Sara Groves out...her music may not be for everyone, but the message she is spreading is for everyone. Watch for God moving in places you might not expect it, but don't look at our ceiling. It's missing the really important women...people like Sara Groves.

Aquinas and Happiness

Well I'm back. Back in the Grove, sitting on the second floor of the SAC marking papers with a blue highlighter trying to encourage myself to actually do some schoolwork, when all I really want to do is something other than schoolwork.

I'm working on a paper for Civilization, one of those great Humanities classes that GCC makes everyone take in order for them to have a well-rounded education. In talking to others and hearing about their papers it sounds like mine may be one of the harder ones that is required to be written. I have to take a reading from some great philosopher/theologian of old and analyze it searching for his answers to two of James Sire's seven questions that every worldview must answer.

At least by now its going better than it was the other day riding back from good old Massachusetts. I was sitting in the backseat of Uriah's car trying in vain to understand what I was reading. I had determined that perhaps I would do Aristotle's musing on the human soul as my reading to analyze, but wait, all Aristotle answered was one of the worldview questions. Sigh...well maybe Thomas Aquinas then. Nope, not him either. It was at that point I gave up for the day.

Of course as I sit here now I am actually highlighting Aquinas' work as when I read it later with a clearer mind I discovered he does, in fact, answer two of the worldview questions!! HOORAY!! Can you feel the sarcasm seeping through?

However, more importantly this reading points to the fact that the ultimate happiness of man consists in the contemplation and understanding of God. And you know what I don't believe that as much as I should. I mean I do believe it, but I put it on the backburner so often, especially over break trying to see all my friends, which is by no means a bad thing, and can be very spiritually uplifting. But what about all these times at college where I'll play Guitar Hero for another hour instead of seeking God and His truth, the only thing that can really bring happiness. I need to stop settling for anything other than the ultimate happiness of knowing God...because I certainly do more times than not.

Truth Elitism

Truth. What is it? Why are people so obsessed with finding it, or in many cases avoiding it? Why is the pursuit of truth and knowledge so central to mankind’s purpose on this earth? Truth is one of those words that when uttered can bring together or immediately tear apart. The funny thing is that often those people or organizations most interested in finding the truth also have the biggest divides internally because of battles over the so-called truth. Real truth should unite, yet it tears apart so often. However, this does not mean that truth does not exist as some would promote.

However, it is understandable how some people may prefer to believe there is no truth, when those who promote absolute values are at times incredibly arrogant about their intellectual superiority in finding truth. Truth does not give one a license to hold it over other’s heads in an elitism that can only be described as pompous and pedantic. Unfortunately, as I can attest this mentality so often seeps into life, especially it seems in the life of a Christian.

I know I’ve held my knowledge of the truth and my personal “piety” over others before. I’ve used it as a license to call myself better than the unchurched. But this mindset is not only damaging but blatantly un-Biblical. Jesus condemns those who hold their knowledge over people. In fact, he tells the Pharisees that they are hypocrites, and are filled with rotting flesh inside. Yet on the outside the Pharisees were the ones that knew everything, but the knowledge of their minds did not translate to their hearts and their treatment of other people.

Why is this truth elitism such a prominent outlook in Christian circles? Sometimes it seems so ingrained in the foundations of modern day church people fall into it and don’t even think about it. It isn’t even always related just to those who aren’t Christians, but also other denominations. Every denomination believes everything they hold as doctrine is 100% right and will fight to the death with the others for the right to call their opinions supreme. Why do we feel the need to know we possess all the truth? Why is it so hard to accept that possibly someone may believe something different and it is ok?

In America we are very prideful, and whether people like it, or want to admit it, this pride influences our entire outlook on life and religion to the point where we feel the need to be better than other countries and to show our superiority. Why do you think America so often meddles in other countries affairs? We think that we know everything and want everyone to conform to our political systems and beliefs, when we don’t even know anything about their culture. I feel like the church, especially the fundamentalists of yesterday, feels this same way. We try to reach people from our white-middle class perspective instead of caring about their struggles and their sub-culture and reaching them through that.

It all comes back to the belief that once we think we’ve found the black and white on sometimes obviously gray issues, we inscribe these beliefs in stone, like our own personal 500 Commandments, and if someone wants to follow Jesus they must meet these criteria. Jesus never did this, he ate with the tax collectors and prostitutes something the church always preaches about but rarely does in any capacity. The bible says in John 8:32, “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” The truth has set us free, but why do we use it to capture people in our own dogmatic views? Before we were set free we were no better off than those that we now think we are better than.

People are intrinsically equal. God did not create some people better than others, in fact, it is quite the opposite. It says in the Bible that God is no respecter of persons, meaning he doesn’t care if know everything about the Bible and do nothing with it or if one person knows a lone verse of scripture and with that verse does great things. Who will God said has done more with what they’ve been given?

So clearly this truth elitism is something that is not only dangerous to the Christian’s view of the lost world, but also between other Christians who may not hold exactly the same views. How many times has one denomination refused to work with another one simply over things such as predestination and eternal security? What’s the point of that? News flash: we are all Christians and we should be united. Sadly this is not often the case.

So how do we remove this truth elitism from our lives? The simple answer is to recognize it and attempt to stop doing it. Some people don’t notice it and even if they do they enjoy the elevated feeling it creates over others. This view is damaging as well as not in keeping with the Christian walk. Everyone is equal and has the same chance to find the truth, so let’s start acting like it.

North Coast '07

It's 5:55 am.

"Can you hear the sky turn red?"

That's my cellphone alarm alerting me that I need to wake up. You may be asking, why do I need to wake up at 5:55 am? Actually, I was asking myself that very same question as I rolled out of bed, stumbled down the hallway into the bathroom and gathered my stuff for North Coast, an Ultimate tournament in Cleveland. Yes indeed, that is why I was awake, to go play ultimate with the Grove City College club team.

So there I sat waiting for Jimmy Pang, a good friend and frisbee phenom. He finally walked down the stairs and we headed for the SAC. It was freezing, and remained about the same temperature throughout the entire day. Needless to say we met up with the guys and boarded the bus and set off for Ohio.

As we powered eastward, the sun began to rise behind us. Now if you know me a decent amount, you know there is nothing more I love than sunrises and sunsets. I get to see a lot more of the latter than the former, mainly because I don't often find myself awake at 5:55 in the am. This one was beautiful, the soft gentle pinks contrasting with the bold orange as we rumbled past the outstretched trees lining the highway.

Despite getting lost a couple times we arrived on time at the Polo Grounds, the curious place where the tournament was being held. We collected the food that they gave us, and set out for our first game. We handily defeated Kent State 15-7, and I actually caught a goal, courtesy of Hunter Stewart, which basically made my day. But it was still freezing out.

We lost our next game to Bowling Green 14-13, and then beat Case Western B 15-8. I caught another goal in that one courtesy of the amazing Mark Lyon-Vaiden. We entered the final game, spirits high, and lost to Ohio Wesleyan 15-13. We retreated back to the warmth of the bus, took some more food, and headed back for the Grove. Of course, we managed to get lost again, and made a two hour ride at least a half hour, if not more, longer.

So there is my first real experience with Ultimate tournaments. I can't wait til I'm the one one the field the whole game, making those crucial throws. I love to play disc and I think today confirmed it. So if you'll excuse me I'm off to sleep....

Fun in the Grove

Today began like any other typical day in Grove City. Getting up a shade before 10:30 I decided to forgo Homecoming chapel, mainly because I felt really tired, and it was starting in ten minutes. So I went about waking up, and then was about to listen to a Rob Bell sermon when Draya called. I talked to her for about a hour and then decided to just do nothing for a little while. However during the course of waking up and doing nothing I decided that I was not going to eat at the cafeteria for dinner and was going to go to get some Taco Bell. This entailed a 45 minute walk, but it was well worth it for the wellspring of deliciousness on the other side.

So at about 5:30 Adam and I embarked on our journey to Taco Bell/Walmart/Sheetz. Sharing beautiful memories of days gone by, or should I say video games gone by, the walk passed quickly as we shared stories of excitement and despair relating to the digital realm. As we neared Taco Bell I espied that it was 49 cent taco day, a fact that made my night automatically better. So we ate, all the while continuing our discussion, and eating some of the best Taco Bell ever.

Then we finally entered Walmart. I had one mission: find Zoolander and purchase it. I quickly realized that I was about to fail in this endeavor as there was nary a copy to be found. However, there was a five dollar movie bin which Adam and I searched through for a good fifteen minutes leaving no stone unturned. I picked up Tears of the Sun and Adam found a couple himself. Then I debated about buying a few different computer games before deciding to buy none of them. During this time Adam decided not to buy his movies, and so I approached the cash register with one movie in my hand. As I drew close to buying it Adam trying to convince me to not buy it. Now I had a dilemma on my hands and needed some time to think about it. So I did what any good man would do when faced with this decision: go look at hats.

Now I found no hats, but we browsed the tie selection and then I decided I needed some new boxers. So as we viewed the odd array of men's underwear(string bikini style?) Adam decided he might want some moccasins. I finally found some less than scandalous undergarments and we moved to the shoe department. One thing I gained from the shoe department is that they make really awesome slippers for girls and not for guys. Our trip was in vain as Adam decided against purchasing his foot apparel, and I thought hey we already walked around half the store, why not make a night of it and go around the whole thing?

So we debated on the usage of a extremely small bunkbed, decided that it would be cool to deck out our eventual homes in amazing lamps and such as we moved into the toys section. Now, I forgot to mention that while we were browsing the clothing section we picked up some do-rags. I myself chose the orange flames, and Adam picked the skulls to show off his bad self. I figured flames were appropriate for some one as hot as me. (totally kidding!) These are not your ordinary do-rags mind you, but wal-mart specials, and like anything at wal-mart totally worth the price of 1.44 we paid. As we walk through the toy section praising the merits of various toys our eyes alight on some lightsabers.

As some of you know I am a self-proclaimed Star Wars geek. It used to be much worse back in junior high. Let's see there was the card game, video games, and endless trivia battles to see who was the "true" Jedi Master. Then there was the summer I basically read the entire library of Star Wars books. So when Adam suggested we buy them...I tried really hard to resist, but it was only inevitable that I would give in. Especially because these new lightsabers have spring activated blades, which may be the sweetest innovation next to the computer chip. Needless to say I was very close to walking out of wal-mart with a five dollar movie and instead I spent 35 dollars. But I figure how many other chances does one get to purchase a do-rag and lightsaber at the same time?

So we began the long trek back to college, except now we were no longer Adam and Carl, students of Grove City College. We were Master C-dizzle and Knight Bog-shizzle, Jedi of the hood. I mean after all I am from Springfield. We fast approached the college, making a momentary stop at the sketchiest, yet possibly most well-equipped small town movie store I've ever seen. So much better than Movie Gallery in Monson...at least I think they had new releases on the shelf, one that actually just came out, not last year's blockbusters. And they had some super nintendo and sega genesis games for sale...priceless.

Anyway, we finally made it back into our dorm. The first person to see me in both do-rag and lightsaber was Jack, as I made my way to the RA's room to secure a screwdriver to fully equip our sabers with batteries. I think he enjoyed my ghetto mastery if his laughter was any barometer. And there the night basically ended...and God knew I needed something like that. I needed to be crazy and just get my mind of things. God works everything out for those who love Him...and its awesome.

P.S. You need to read my friend/roommates take on this incident as well. check out blogspot.theempyrealwordsmith.com. NOW!